365 Days: This Day” is a film approximately intercourse and buying. Who doesn't like intercourse and buying? Viewed thru this slender lens, it makes you feel that the Polish erotic romance “365 Days” rose to popularity, first in cinemas after which on Netflix, in which visitors may want to indulge their maximum prurient pursuits in private. But the subsequent franchise that sprung from that wonder hit stands in defiant competition to the first-class of the movies themselves. It's lovely how blatantly this Euro-softcore collection rips off "Fifty Shades of Grey," itself “Twilight” fan fiction blown as much as a mega-hit size. And that's the least of those movies' issues. Underneath its repellant rape-lifestyle premise, the first “365 Days” film contained a nugget of attractive fantasy: Namely, the concept of giving up all of the anxious responsibilities and boorish guys that fill the lives of independent, overworked present-day girls and letting a person else make the selections for an even as. It didn't take a complete calendar of 12 months for everyday Warsaw female Laura (Anna Maria Sieklucka) to fall for Italian mafia kingpin Don Massimo (Michele Morrone): Sure, he drugged and abducted her even as she turned on an excursion in Sicily, promising to lose her after one year if she didn't discover ways to love him withinside the meantime. But the person seems like an underclothes version and spends like a Russian oligarch. In this movie's relentlessly shallow worldview, the ones are the most effective matters that matter. That leaves the Netflix-produced sequel, “365 Days: This Day,” with as little to do as Laura, who is going from unwilling captive to bored housewife in file time. Like “Fifty Shades of Grey,” “365 Days” inserts and throws out storylines in keeping with its very own harebrained whims. At the top of the remaining film, it is regarded as eleven though Laura might in no way get to stay her dream of purchasing an obscenely pricey wedding ceremony dress—oh, and marrying the person she loves (or, at the least, her out on a yacht). But because the sequel opens with the digital swirling around Laura and Massimo as they are trying to swallow others' tonsils on an Instagram-worth Italian cliff, it's like Laura's brush with death in a fiery automobile crash that in no way happened. And as soon as the costly formalities of a lavish wedding ceremony and exceptional honeymoon are distributed, “365 Days: This Day” appears round and says to itself, “What's subsequent?” What's subsequent is a brand new guy in Laura's life, the ostensible gardener Nacho (Simone Susanna). It's more difficult now to get the giggles whilst Nacho is brought taking walks toward the digital in a trucker hat and ripped jeans. It's even extra hard now no longer to chortle whilst this humble operating guy lives in a luxe-bohemian seashore shack that seems like a boutique inn in Tulum. (It's key to the “365 Days” lifestyle that everybody is secretly wealthy, or at the least possessed of an impeccable eye for indoor design.) Where Massimo is dominant and controlling, Nacho is gentle and non-threatening. And so, whilst Laura walks in on Massimo in flagrante delicto together with his ex, she runs off with Nacho, who will function as her emotional aid hunk for the rest of the movie. Laura and Nacho don't have intercourse, even though she does fantasize approximately it. That's because, like “Fifty Shades of Grey,” “365 Days” is a conservative daydream. Look beyond the frequent, vigorous, gently kinky softcore scenes—like its predecessor, “365 Days: This Day” flirts with male and girl complete-frontal nudity throughout—and “365 Days: This Day” is, at its core, promoting the concept of marrying a wealthy guy and having his babies. There are as many buying montages in this movie as there are intercourse ones, and all are filmed withinside the decadent, substance-loose fashion of a fragrance commercial. Expensive watches and speedy cars, couture robes and high-stop intercourse toys, gourmand breakfasts at the terrace overlooking a million-greenback view: Massimo can provide Laura with all of this, which makes “365 Days: This Day” a romance. If he had been poor, he'd simply be a rapist. A strong 60 percent of “365 Days: This Day” is made of aspirational and/or erotic montages. But about filling that different forty percent, the film does now no longer has the coolest feel to paste to an easy battle between a terrible boy and a pleasant guy. Coked-out same twins, warring Mafia families, and the maximum inept villain duo this aspect of Team Rocket in "Pokémon" all aspect into the sloppily built storyline, which culminates in a jaw-droppingly incompetent movement climax. It's doubtful what the Mafia does, exactly, in “365 Days: This Day.” Mostly, they appear to whisper in every other's ears at events and, one assumes, paint out. (Is it a demand that each Sicilian Mafiosos below the age of 60 have six-packs or only a bonus?) As for the performances, why mince phrases now? They're all terrible. But the “comedian relief” furnished via means of Laura and Massimo's BFFs, Olga (Magdalena Lamparska) and Domenico (Otar Saralidze), is mainly so. And as immature as it's far to chortle at talk written in what's manifestly now no longer the screenwriters' first language, suitable good fortune suppressing a chortle whilst Olga yells, “I can't calm down! I'm Polish!” The song is further amusing, a bland R&B-ish mishmash that sounds, correctly enough, like what you would possibly listen to over the loudspeaker at a speedy-style emporium. 365 Days: This Day” is a short film. It's the emotionally bankrupt identity notification of the past due to capitalism, a braindead miasma of choreographed intercourse and nonsensical combating pushed via means of greed and violence masquerading as passion. The ickiness turned into proper there on the floor of “365 Days.” But even though it's extra vanilla, “365 Days: This Day” is extra insidious, as it argues that the ends—high-stop luxurious goods, sculpted butt cheeks—justify the means—kidnapping, coercion, misogyny. This